I spent three decades as an OB/GYN watching the same pattern repeat.
Women came to my office with questions their regular doctors wouldn’t answer. Or worse, they’d been given wrong information. Worst of all, they’d been told their symptoms were just things they had to live with.
That last one always hit hardest.
Because when I dug deeper, I discovered something troubling. These women weren’t being dismissed because their doctors didn’t care. They were being dismissed because an entire generation of physicians had been trained under what I call the dark shadow of the Women’s Health Initiative study.
The Study That Changed Everything
The WHI study used the wrong hormones, in the wrong way, given to the wrong women. That’s why they found the problems they found, including the wrong conclusion that hormones cause breast cancer.
After the WHI results were announced in 2002, HRT use dropped 46% among postmenopausal women across the country.
But here’s what we know now: the right kinds of hormones can be used for women at the right time with great benefits. We’re talking about lowering risk for breast cancer, colon cancer, osteoporosis, dementia, and cardiovascular disease.
The opposite of what most people believe.
Yet the damage was done. Medical schools still teach from that flawed playbook. Only 7% of residents feel prepared to treat menopause. They get an average of two hours of training. Total.
Two hours to learn how to care for half the population during a transition that lasts years.
What Dismissal Actually Looks Like
Women feeling dismissed isn’t about bad doctors or limited appointment times, though both play a role.
The real problem runs deeper.
Women in midlife present with diffuse symptoms like fatigue and weight gain. These don’t lend themselves to procedures or simple diagnosis pathways. They require time, nuanced thinking, and training that most doctors simply haven’t received.
Research confirms what I’ve witnessed: medical providers dismiss three out of four women who bring up menopause symptoms.
So women leave appointments feeling unheard. They start believing maybe it is all in their heads. Maybe they should just tolerate feeling terrible.
That word, “tolerate,” kept coming up in my practice.
From Tolerating to Pursuing
There’s a shift that happens when a woman stops tolerating and starts pursuing.
When she decides she doesn’t have to accept not feeling her best, everything changes. That internal shift allows her to step into what I call the opening that’s possible in midlife.
But she needs the right foundation first.
When I started correcting hormone imbalances for my patients, using bio-identical hormones at the right time and in the right way, something remarkable happened. Yes, their hot flashes improved. Their sleep got better.
But what struck me most was what I call stress tolerance.
The Longer Fuse
I specialize in helping busy women. They have families, careers, relationships where it’s really important they show up well for all the normal stressors of life.
What stress tolerance looks like is what I call a longer fuse.
She’s nice to her kids, colleagues, partner. She feels better with family, friends, and coworkers. She enjoys her life to the fullest instead of just managing and overcoming symptoms that hold her back.
This isn’t about eliminating stress. It’s about restoring capacity.
Traditional medicine focuses on symptom management. Take this for hot flashes. Try that for sleep. But they’re missing what matters most: when women get relief from their symptoms, it radiates out to everyone in their life.
The ripple effect is profound.
Beyond Hormones
Here’s what most people don’t understand: hormone balancing is just the beginning.
It helps her think clearly, feel calm and happy, have her body and metabolism respond to her efforts. This improves her self-image. All of these create the foundation for her empowerment in her life choices for the rest of her life.
I also address the whole woman. Thyroid and adrenals in addition to the hormones related directly to menopause. Because women are complex, and treating one piece while ignoring the others is like tuning one instrument in an orchestra.
Once the basics are in place, including sleeping well and having energy for the people she cares about, all kinds of things become possible that weren’t before.
She can pursue her dreams and goals. She can do the deeper inner work that allows her to achieve those goals.
Libido as Life Energy
One example that surprises people: libido.
Libido isn’t just about sex. It’s about motivation and life energy and the desire and ability to pursue any goal she sets for herself.
When a woman feels good, she can turn her attention to healing more deeply in areas of body image, self-worth, and relationships. Work that requires energy and capacity she didn’t have when she was just trying to survive each day.
Midlife brings changes to women’s bodies, self-image, and often their world of family, work, and relationships. This time could be seen as a time of loss.
But there’s also an opening to create a life where she can make her own choices and design her life to be joyous and fulfilling for the rest of her life.
That’s the fork in the road. Loss or opening.
The Cultural Shift Happening Now
The biggest shift in the broader cultural conversation around menopause has to do with celebrities reaching this stage of life.
They’re not willing to be dismissed. They’re going to pursue answers and ways to feel their very best for the rest of their lives. And they’re using their platforms to talk about it publicly.
This matters because it creates permission for other women to speak up, to demand better care, to refuse to tolerate feeling terrible.
But cultural conversation alone won’t fix the problem.
What Still Needs to Change
We need to get correct information to doctors and health professionals who are helping most women. They need to be brought up to speed.
The most fundamental perspective shift for educating doctors is the recognition that replenishing hormones in menopause is safe and effective and prevents a very long list of diseases in the future.
As more women go into menopause, training programs need to catch up. Two hours of education isn’t enough. Not even close.
That’s why I created The Miracle of Menopause podcast. So many women have been given incorrect information and dismissed in the regular medical world that reaching out on bigger media platforms is a more efficient way to get the word out.
Women don’t have to tolerate not feeling their best.
Because menopause isn’t a medical condition to endure. It’s a transition that, with the right foundation, becomes a launching point for the most empowered phase of a woman’s life.
The miracle isn’t that menopause happens. The miracle is what becomes possible when we stop treating it as a problem to manage and start seeing it as a systems upgrade.
From symptom relief to stress tolerance to restored capacity to life redesign.
That’s the cascade. And it starts with refusing to tolerate dismissal.

