My husband is curled like a little caterpillar in the thick rolls of our down comforter. & # 39; I’m so cold, & # 39; he panted. & # 39; Are you freezing? & # 39; The sweat is slippery in my neck. I feel like a steamed dumpling. & # 39; It’s stifling, & # 39; I growl, kicking off the cover in a show of anger. & # 39; I can hardly breathe, I am so hot. & # 39;

In middle age, disagreeing about the temperature of the bedroom is part of the nightly routine. Three of every four women in the transition struggle with hot flashes and night sweats.

The symptoms are caused by fluctuating estrogen levels, which are thought to affect another hormone, noradrenaline, that helps regulate body temperature, says doctor and menopause specialist. Louise Newson in her new book Menopause – Everything you need to know in one quick guide (£ 10, Haynes).

& # 39; They can sometimes be caused by alcohol, spicy food or hot drinks, but often they just happen and this is because the amount of estrogen in the body is low. & # 39; Seek medical advice if symptoms persist, Dr. Newson says, but switching to a split-tog comforter is a way to make your bedroom menopause-resistant.

Hallelujah then for the new Nanu & # 39; hot¬ & # 39; comforter, billed as ideal & # 39; for couples where one individual goes through the menopause & # 39 ;.

& # 39; A lower heat rating can be selected for half the comforter to relieve hot flashes and night sweats, & # 39; the blurb continues and promises a & # 39; revolutionary & # 39; product that is not hindered by zippers or thick seams.

In other words, it is a king-size comforter, with warm and cool halves separated by a single line of neat stitching. Where the hot & not duvet differs from other split-tog options, you can tailor it.

To order my personal duvet from him and her, I click on the Nanu website and view my & # 39; heat choices & # 39 ;. There is a slight disappointment when I realize that you can only set the heat of your half to a level above or below half of your partner.

I dreamed of & # 39; toasty & # 39; (13.5 tog) for him, and & # 39; extra cool & # 39; (4.5 tog) for me, but he will have to settle for & # 39; cozy & # 39; at 10.5 tog, and I will only & # 39; refrigerate & # 39; are to 7.5 together

Hallelujah then for the new Nanu & # 39; hot¬ & # 39; comforter, billed as ideal & # 39; for couples where one individual goes through the menopause & # 39 ;. In other words, it is a king-size comforter, with warm and cool halves separated by a single line of neat stitching. Where the hot & not duvet differs from other split-tog options, you can tailor it.

Still, I look forward to better marital compatibility under our king-size dual-heat cover. Sharing a bed is a symbol of solidarity. In theory.

In practice, it is a nightmare when hormonal shifts have caused your thermostat to become confused. Most nights I wake up sultry, while my husband is often not warm enough.

Other ways to keep your head cool …

Sleep expert Dr. Neil Stanley, author of How To Sleep Well (£ 7.77 amazon.co.uk), shares four tips on how to relieve night sweats.

• Avoid strenuous exercise or eat or drink too late at night, as that will raise your body temperature. To go to sleep, your body temperature must drop by one degree.
• Take a hot shower. That may sound counter-intuitive, but a warm shower heats the skin, not the core, and if you heat the skin, the body wants to lose that heat and it will cool down faster. If you have a cool shower, you cool the periphery and the body produces more heat to raise the temperature of your skin. Chills is just your body that produces heat because the periphery is cold.
• Wear natural fibers against the skin. Cotton or wool or bamboo will drain the moisture if you sweat overnight. Many people say you should sleep naked when your temperature fluctuates, but if the sweat stays on your skin, you stop your sweat reaction. The point of sweating is to dissipate heat.
• Consider a silent fan or sleep with the window open. The bedroom must be cool, the bed must be warm. If it is not too noisy, keep both the bedroom and bathroom window open. The transverse flow helps to keep the room cool and allows moisture to evaporate.

Each of us with our own duvets has worked as a practical solution, but it is hardly romantic. According to Nanu’s research, a quarter of British couples regularly argue about their duvets. Only a quarter?

And it’s not just a passion killer. “We know from many studies that women with night sweats and hot flashes have an increased risk of heart disease and osteoporosis, so it is important that you not only try to make the best of it,” Dr. Newson, who says she saw one patient who suffered from hot flashes every half hour.

When the menopause comforter arrives, I am impressed by how environmentally friendly it is. It has a hollow fiber filling made from recycled plastic bottles (softer than it sounds!).

I wrestle it in a cover and bring it up at 11 o’clock for its debut. My husband is already huddled under our existing bedding. If I insist on replacing it with our & # 39; hot¬ & # 39; comforter, he is dissatisfied.

& # 39; Does it have feathers? & # 39; he asks as I rank it carefully so that he is under half labeled & # 39; Warmer & # 39; and I am & # 39; Cooler & # 39 ;.

He is not happy. & # 39; It feels thin and cheap & # 39 ;, he says silly. & # 39; How much was it? & # 39; Sixty-five pounds, I say. & # 39; Humph, & # 39; he answers, kicking underneath. & # 39; You’re not going to like it. & # 39; He adds: & # 39; It’s cold. I have to wear long pants that sleep underneath. & # 39;

I ignore him and jump into bed. It feels very thin and light compared to the heavy downy down comforter that we are used to. But after five minutes I am not too hot or too cold. I’m in the Goldilocks zone.

My husband reaches for my hand. & # 39; You are warm, & # 39; he mumbles sleepily, & # 39; you are boiling hot! & # 39;

After his many protests, I expect him to jump up and put on his winter pajamas dramatically or put the fluffy comforter on top. But there is silence. He sleeps.

I have time to register that my temperature – usually sensitive to violent and abrupt fluctuations – feels stable. Then I drifted away, minus the usual sweating.

I don’t wake up furiously throwing layers or opening the window. I only wake up once, briefly in the middle of the night, when the cat jumps on the hot side.

The next morning, to my surprise, I realize that I slept soundly and comfortably all night. My temperature was exceptionally well regulated.

But this is a joint venture. I ask my husband how he slept. & # 39; Fine. Very constant temperature actually. There are no holes, no lumps of heat and no cold. In that sense, it performs better than an expensive down comforter. It is light, but still I am warmer under this. The spring has bald spots. & # 39; He adds: & # 39; I will continue to do it. I like it. & # 39;

Finally sweet dreams.